Deluxe Hand Pump with Pressure Gauge and Nipple Cylinders from Extreme Restraints

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Climax Fruit Bomb Lubricant by Topco

I bought a container of the Strawberry Flavored Climax Fruit Bomb lube by Topco around the time I started dating my boyfriend. I wanted something that I could use with my hands, which would taste nice if the night progressed on to oral pleasures. The last thing I wanted to do was move from hand- to blow job only to be assaulted by a plastic, chemical-laden flavor on my tongue. I thought I had found the answer in this lube.

Let it be known to all, I did not.

No answer here, people. Why, you ask? This lube got incredibly sticky, incredibly fast. I couldn’t even use it for sexy hand-stroking, because it felt like my man’s cock was covered in Smucker’s strawberry preserves…and maybe even a little week-old honey. It made such a mess on my hands that the action had to stop, and, (luckily) we had a good laugh about it. I had to get up and promptly wash my hands because it had made such a tremendous gooey mess. In fact, I think there may still be a strawberry flavored hand print on the wall in his old bedroom; kind of like a grown up version of the Willy Wonka Snozzberry wallpaper.

Also, though the lube is packaged in a very aesthetically pleasing way (a small, round bottle with brightly colored lube inside and a pump to dispense the product), the pump and lid leak something awful; before I’d even had a chance to return this nightmare, it leaked all over the cup holder in my center console. Additionally, the product is relatively expensive at $15.99 - so I would, at least, expect a more liquid-tight container for that number of my hard-earned clams.

However, the lube was flavored well…no complaints there; the strawberry flavor tasted good and left no weird aftertaste in my mouth. Unfortunately, though, the combination of leaky packaging and absolutely ineffective performance earned this lube just one star.

Pleasure Rating (out of 5):
♥

Price:
$15.99 Retail

Where I bought it:
Fascinations

Pros:

Good flavor, pretty packaging.

Cons:

Gets incredibly sticky, incredibly fast; packaging leaks.

Summary:

The lube was flavored well…the strawberry flavor tasted good and left no weird aftertaste in my mouth. Unfortunately, though, the combination of leaky packaging and absolutely ineffective performance earned this lube just one star.

Crystal Jellies Ballsy Dildo by Doc Johnson

The Crystal Jellies Ballsy dildo by Doc Johnson is a delicious toy. Well, in the most literal sense, it’s not so delicious since it’s made of jelly material and has a quite pungent plastic odor and taste. But apart from that, it’s absolutely…um…cock-a-licious.

At 5 ½” of insertable length, a nice girth and a 1 lb weight, this toy is heftier than it seems. It’s made of a smooth and jiggly jelly material (I own the pink), which provides it with a pleasurable flexibility. However, because of the jelly construction, this toy attracts and hangs on to dust and animal hair like nobody’s business. Keep that in mind when deciding where to store this guy, and always make sure you at least rinse him off before insertion into delicate areas.

Now, on to the good stuff…

The toy is exquisitely shaped, with a tasty girth and substantial head that really lets an eager pussy know who’s boss. It may require some lube to use if you’re on the smaller side like I am, but it’s worth it. The ridges/veins on the toy feel wonderful, and provide a lot of sensation on the vaginal opening when thrust in and out. My favorite use for this toy, in fact, is having my lover work it in and out of me while giving me oral. The combination of sensations is mind blowing, and the balls on the base provide a good grip for a partner or yourself to hang on to.

The toy is also harness-compatible and butt-friendly because of its flanged base and balls. Just make sure you’re ready for its girth if you want to use this for anal play…I wouldn’t suggest it for beginners. It’s inexpensive as dildos go, especially for how well it is shaped and sculpted. I gave it four stars out of five, docking one star for its odor/taste and propensity for attracting airborne particles to its shiny pink skin.

Pleasure Rating (out of 5):
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

Price:
$12.99 Retail

Where I bought it:
Fascinations

Pros:

Well-sculpted, great size, nicely textured.

Cons:

Attracts dust and hair, unpleasant jelly odor/taste.

Summary:

The toy is exquisitely shaped, with a tasty girth and substantial head that really let a pussy know who’s boss. It may require some lube to use if you’re on the smaller side like I am, but it’s worth it. The ridges/veins on the toy feel wonderful, and provide a lot of sensation on the vaginal opening when thrust in and out.

Incognito Lipstick Vibrator by Topco

When I first saw the Incognito Lipstick Vibe by Topco at my local naughty shop, I was tickled, well…pink…by the thought of concealing a sex toy in an innocuous lipstick package. I was dubious, however, as to how the toy would perform once the initial novelty of its girly camouflage wore off. How much power could such a thing pack? Is it really going to seem like a lipstick case once I get it away from the racks of super-realistic plastic cocks? Is it going to be discreet, or sound like a Boeing 747 taking off?

All those questions were answered once I got it home.

The toy is nicely packaged; no 80s porn stars with freakishly spread vaginas on it, just a plain, pink background. And this is a plus for all those women out there who are looking for a discreet vibe that doesn’t exude an aura of raunchiness. I bought the Magenta version, but it also comes in Pink. It is slightly larger than an average lipstick tube, but if you own as much makeup as I do, no one you know will look twice if they see it in a drawer or on a desk, even if its next to a real lipcolor. The top of the case comes off to reveal the “lipstick”, which is the portion of the toy I use to stimulate my clitoris, ass and nipples. (Please note, this is not a toy for anal insertion play; but it does feel nice around the outside.) The plastic is smooth, and does the job, especially when paired with a nice dildo like the Silicone Crystal Cote.

The toy operates on one AAA battery, yet packs a surprisingly powerful punch. When turned on, it sounds just about like the average cell phone set to "vibrate". Though it only operates on one speed, that speed is plenty to get me off. It can be used to stimulate not only the clitoris and outer pussy area, but also the nipples and other erogenous zones. It slides deliciously along the body when a tiny bit of lube is applied to the “lipstick”, but I’d recommend using lube sparingly on this toy as it could get messy and unmanageably slippery in a flash. The toy’s not waterproof, so make sure to remove the battery and close it tightly before cleaning.

Overall, I would recommend the Incognito Lipstick Vibe, especially to women who want a functional, discreet and girly vibe that isn’t shaped like a penis or cute, fuzzy animal.

Pleasure Rating (out of 5):
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

Price
$24.99 Retail

Where I bought it:
Fascinations

Pros:

Discreet, surprisingly powerful, easy to use.

Cons:

Only one speed, not silent enough for public use.

Summary:

Overall, I would recommend the Incognito Lipstick Vibe, especially to women who want a functional, discreet and girly vibe that isn’t shaped like a penis or cute, fuzzy animal.

Smart Balls by FunFactory

The Smart Balls by Fun Factory are a toy that I, in my oh-so-humble opinion, believe should be in every woman’s toy box. I ordered my black-and-silver set of these wündertoys from here at EdenFantasys, after reading a whole slew of great reviews. This being my first set of any kind of vaginal balls, I was a little skeptical about how non-vibrating toys could be as stimulating as all the reviews stated. But they are, reader…oh how they are.

After unwrapping the Smart Balls upon their arrival at my boyfriend’s door, I couldn’t wait to try them out. However, I was initially a little taken aback by their size. I knew they were meant to stay inside me for extended periods of time, yet these seemed like an insertable toy that wouldn’t allow for much mobility once in use. The nicely packaged balls came with great instructions, however; not just for usage but for care and cleaning as well. And as an added bonus, the instructions were in several languages, which made me, and my vagina, feel pretty damn cosmopolitan.

I took the newly-loosed toy into the bathroom for insertion and testing. The Smart Balls came with a little package of lubricant, which helped ease my fears (and my vajay) about getting them inside. The lube was perfectly adequate to the task, and after giving the balls a thorough greasing, I started to insert them.

I went slowly, inserting one segment of the connected balls at a time; relaxing and accommodating one before sliding the other ball in. Despite how large they seemed at the outset, the Smart Balls fit quite nicely inside of me; not too long and girthy enough to create a pleasantly full sensation without feeling stretched.

The Smart Balls are weighted balls that are coated in smooth silicone, with a silicone pull-cord for ease of cleaning and hygienic use. The inner set of balls (picture a cat’s bell, with its outer casing and inner ball which, when they clang against each other, creates the tinkling sound) creates a subtle yet very noticeable percussion when the user moves, stands up, sits down, bounces, swing dances, whatever. They are great for use as Kegel exercise companions, since they give those muscles a source of resistance against which to flex and strengthen. They also just feel great, whether you’re doing Kegels or not.

I have found that the Smart Balls can be left in, very comfortably, for many hours at a time. I like to wear them while out shopping, studying, or making dinner; they create wonderful vibrating sensations silently and discretely enough for public use. They are easy to clean, and since they’re silicone, can be sanitized with a dip in some boiling water. Make sure to use a water-based lube for insertion, if you need it; a silicone lube will damage this toy.

I enthusiastically recommend the Smart Balls for their superior construction, ease of use, and absolutely incredible, yet discreet, pleasure-inducing properties.

Pleasure Rating (out of 5):
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

Price:
$22.99 Retail

Where I bought it:
EdenFantasys

Pros:

Easy to use, easy to clean, provide wonderful sensations, can be used in public.

Cons:

I can't really think of any.

Summary:

I enthusiastically recommend the Smart Balls for their superior construction, ease of use, and absolutely incredible, yet discreet, pleasure-inducing properties.

Silicone Crystal Cote by California Exotic

The Silicone Crystal Cote by California Exotic is simply one of the best insertable toys I’ve ever used. I own the fuchsia and clear version, and it checks in at an insertable length of 4 ½”, with a diameter of 1 ¼”. It is made of silicone, so if you plan on lubing it up, make sure your slip-‘n-slide is water-based. The toy has only a slight plastic scent; nothing overpowering or unpleasant, which is a plus for me since I enjoy sucking and licking my toys as a part of my play. If it smells and/or tastes like a car tire, it’s likely to knock my enthusiasm down a notch or two. And at just about thirty dollars, it’s a completely economical addition to anyone’s toy collection… beginner and veteran alike.

The Crystal Cote is certainly on the smaller side when it comes to dildos, but that’s how I prefer them. If you are a size queen or just generally like a large toy to stretch you, this is probably not the one for you. However, if you find yourself intimidated by the larger size of many toys out there, I highly suggest you try out this product. With this clear and pink wonder, you don’t have to sacrifice high-quality, pussy-pleasing realism for a more petite size.

The suction cup on the base, which is one of its most versatile features, sticks to everything I've tried: the top of a stool, the wall, the edge of my bathtub, and the tile in the shower. Because of the suction base’s design, the toy springs and interacts ever so slightly while I fuck it, and with each thrust, the wonderfully textured balls press against my ass contributing to the overall intensity of the experience. The suction base also functions as a handle, making it an amazing toy for use in partner play as well.

The shaping of the head and shaft is exquisite; ridged and textured, perfectly proportioned, and the head pops in and out of me deliciously when I use it for thrusting (it beats out all of my other dildos in this regard, hands down). Combined with clitoral stimulation, the in-and-out sensations elicited by this luscious toy make for an absolutely incredible orgasm. I highly recommend the Silicone Crystal Cote to anyone looking for a high-quality, realistic, smaller-sized dildo.

Pleasure Rating (out of 5):
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

Price:
$29.99 Retail

Where I bought it:
EdenFantasys

Pros:

Exquisitely shaped, nicely textured, suction cup base, affordable.

Cons:

May be too small for some.

Summary:

The in-and-out sensations elicited by this luscious toy make for an absolutely incredible orgasm. I highly recommend the Silicone Crystal Cote to anyone looking for a high-quality, realistic, smaller-sized dildo.

Glass Ben Wa Balls by Topco

I’ve always been curious, yet a little terrified, about Ben Wa balls. The concept of inserting two free-floating marbles into my vagina always prompted me to envision them migrating up, inexplicably, into my uterus and clanking around like quarters at the bottom of my purse. Since I’m a smart little girl, though, I understand that this is not really possible, hence the curiosity portion of the above double-edged sword.

After trying Smart Balls, which are absolutely amazing, I decided to finally try a pair of the individual Ben Wa balls. My boyfriend and I had found a set of the Glass Ben Wa Balls by Topco in our favorite adult store, and resolved to buy them.

I decided on this specific set, as opposed to a pair of gold metal ones, first and foremost because of their packaging and appearance. These little toys by Topco are very pretty, and were the first glass Ben Wa balls I’d ever seen… not to mention the first with delicate flowers encased inside. Additionally, they come in their own sturdy, visually appealing maroon and black storage box. The balls are 3 ¼” in circumference, which, in print seems large, but they’re actually quite small. Made of Pyrex glass, they’re seamless and easily cleaned and sterilized.

After cleaning the toys, I nervously inserted them, which was easy enough. They popped gently inside of me, and sort of disappeared. I was planning on using them throughout the day, both to increase resistance for Kegel exercises, and to see if the manufacturer’s claim that “they also induce powerful orgasms in some women just by the friction created as they rub against one another” was indeed true. I wasn’t sure this was going to be possible, since once the balls were in, I couldn’t feel a thing.

They did provide a bit of resistance for the Kegels, but not much, and certainly not nearly as much as the Smart Balls. Also, I never did feel them inside of me, bouncing around as many say they do. And, once I decided to take them out, I was in for a time consuming stress-fest. I had to actually put multiple fingers inside of my vajay, and press on the outside of my lower abdomen to induce them out of me, which brought back all of those fears of losing them. However, after 8-10 minutes of digging, they came out.

The main reason I will keep these and not return them: they’re pretty and I feel sexy having them inside of me. Note that I didn’t say “feel sexy *feeling* them inside of me”, because I really didn’t. But they’re a nice, subtle way to keep your erotic consciousness going during the day, when you might not want overt physical stimulation to distract you. All in all, I would recommend these for only that reason; wear them if you want to feel sexy by having a pretty, feminine set of toys inside of you… buy the Smart Balls for Kegels and incredible sensations.

Pleasure Rating (out of 5):
♥ ♥

Price:
$11.99 Retail

Where I bought it:
Fascinations

Pros:

Pretty, nicely packaged, seamless, easy to clean/sterilize.

Cons:

Can't feel them once inside, difficult to get out.

Summary:

The main reason I will keep these and not return them: they’re pretty and I feel sexy having them inside of me. Note that I didn’t say “feel sexy feeling them inside of me”, because I really didn’t. But they’re a nice, subtle way to keep your erotic consciousness going during the day, when you might not want overt physical stimulation to distract you.

Purple Anal Jelly Beads by Doc Johnson

The Purple Anal Jelly Beads by Doc Johnson are a fun toy. It is a solid string of jelly beads composed of ten balls, with increasing widths up to 1” in thickness for a total toy length of 11”. The jelly string is firm, yet pliable, and the silicon-like material is smooth and soft to the touch. The increasing size of the beads provides options for use based on comfort and experience level; you can insert the smaller end first for a gentle warm up or slight sensations in your ass, or start with the larger end for more of a stretch and fuller feeling. Though the toy does gradually increase up to a bead size of 1” in thickness, it should be noted that this is not an ‘advanced’ toy, or, in my opinion, even one for ‘intermediate’ use, if you’re really looking to feel stretched. The main advantage to this toy, in my experience, lies in using it with a partner. And since the design may seem a little confusing for use as a beginner, here’s a method I’ve found to be fun:

Make sure you’ve cleansed your toy and have rinsed it well. Because the ass is a very delicate ecosystem, you never want to put anything that is dirty, bacteria-laden, or full of irritating detergents into it. Also, make sure that if you use this toy for both vaginal and anal play, you use a condom over it or clean it EXTREMELY well between use in each orifice. Once you’ve cleaned your toy, apply some good-quality lube (since this toy is not silicone, I love to use ID Millennium) to each of the beads you plan on inserting. Keep in mind, however, that you should leave some un-lubed beads at the bottom for your partner to hold on to… if it’s covered in lube down there, it will be unmanageably slippery, and there’ll be no leverage for the fun. Use whatever methods and positions of self-pleasure you find the hottest, be it a Hitachi Magic Wand, or a few fingers, or a dildo, while your partner slowly pops one slippery bead at a time into your ass. I don’t recommend using this toy for thrusting, especially when used for anal play… though it’s very pliable, it is firm enough to cause discomfort and possibly some injury if you’re trying to use it like a cock up there. Just let it do its thing by filling you deliciously and subtly as you masturbate or enjoy some oral.

Here’s where the fun really begins. As you are ready to orgasm, have your partner start slowly pulling the toy out of you, continuing through your orgasm. This feeling is incredible. It seems to prolong my orgasms, and intensify their effect at least two-fold. Of course, communication is the key here, and part of the enjoyment lies in experimenting with the timing. Using this toy is a great option for varying your routine for, say times when a woman isn’t available for vaginal intercourse, but you still want some partner play, or for men looking to stimulate their p-spots, or… well… really anytime.

Pleasure Rating (out of 5):
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

Price:
$7.99 Retail

Where I bought it:
Fascinations

Pros:

Inexpensive, durable, provides awesome sensations and versatility.

Cons:

Time consuming to clean, may not satisfy 'advanced' or 'intermediate' users.

Summary:

The jelly string is firm, yet pliable, and the silicon-like material is smooth and soft to the touch. The increasing size of the beads provides options for use based on comfort and experience level; you can insert the smaller end first for a gentle warm up or slight sensations in your ass, or start with the larger end for more of a stretch and fuller feeling.

Erect Nipple Gel by California Exotic

If you’ve read a few of my other reviews, you may have noticed that my nipples and I have a very complicated relationship with one another. In the last year or so, my pink boobie-buttons and I have gone on a journey of discovery together, after a lifetime of no sensation there. So, that being said, I’ve tried to utilize my nips to their fullest potential; part of that, for me, means trying to keep them hard as much as possible. Why, you ask? Well, because I think they’re just plain prettier that way. And any product boasting its ability to perma-harden my newfound little friends is probably guaranteed to sucker me in as a consumer.That brings us to the review at hand: Erect Nipple Gel by California Exotic. Whilst shopping, I had perused the nipple hardening section of my local naughty store and had decided I felt the mechanics behind these so-called tightening products was sound and reasonable (tingling/stimulating compounds that supposedly increase blood flow and sensitivity in the nipples). Finally, I broke down and bought the above product, in the hopes that it would keep my rosy desire buds sensitive, hard and sexy for a somewhat prolonged period of time.When I got the gel home and out of its package, however, I was soon disappointed. When I took off the cap and smelled the product, it reminded me of Listerine; minty, yet with a faint bouquet of institutional sterility. Not one to be deterred by the scent, however, I anxiously applied the gel liberally as directed, and hoped for the best. All I was rewarded with was a slight tingling, and no hardening effects that lasted beyond my nipples’ reaction to being touched by my fingers coated in cool gel. In fact, I think I would have had just about the same effects had I rubbed my nipples with a menthol cigarette. Needless to say, I was disappointed. I tried for a silver lining though. I tasted some of the gel, thinking that, perhaps, it might work as a nipple-flavoring agent. That’s a negative. It tasted bitter and reminded me of the stuff my mom used to put on my fingernails to keep me from biting them as a child. Also, after the product ‘dried’, it was sticky and gummy, and would have really grossed-up a bra had I put my gel-christened nips into one.So, in summation…I give the Erect Nipple Gel by California Exotic no stars, because not only did it not work and disappoint me, but I actually had to spend gas money to drive it back to the store and return it. So for anyone considering this product, I’d recommend using a few ice cubes and saving your money.

Pleasure Rating (out of 5):
Zero

Price:
$7.99 Retail

Where I bought it:
Fascinations

Pros:
None

Cons:
Doesn't work, unpleasant scent, sticky, disappointing.

Summary:
I give the Erect Nipple Gel by California Exotic no stars, because not only did it not work and disappoint me, but I actually had to spend gas money to drive it back to the store and return it. So for anyone considering this product, I’d recommend using a few ice cubes and saving your money for a nice pair of nipple clamps or erectors.

Waterproof Remote Control Venus Butterfly by California Exotic

My boyfriend had wanted a remote control toy for some time. And who can blame him? What man wouldn’t want a remote controlled device with which he could manipulate his partner’s clitoral sensations? Unfortunately, we’d had a hard time finding one with consistently good reviews that seemed practical to wear under clothing, discreet and had an effective remote feature.We finally found all of those in the Waterproof Remote Control Venus Butterfly by California Exotic. After taking it out of its packaging, it took me a few minutes to figure out how to maneuver the straps onto my body, but once I did, they were easy to adjust and very comfortable. The soft elastic didn’t cut into my body or create unsightly lumps, yet was secure enough to keep the butterfly in his place. The bullet fit nicely against my sweet spot, and, when turned on, had far more vibration power than I had expected. The remote works quite well, even from the next room, which we were able to test while I wore the Venus making dinner. The variation of the vibration settings was really great, and of a variety that left me pleasantly surprised. There are various settings for intensity, different patterns of vibration, and an overall fun selection of options. Though the Vroom is completely adequate, the bullet won’t nestle directly against your clitoris without some help; that pesky labia always gets in the way. So, for me, at least, the Butterfly isn’t going to get me to orgasm while doing the housework, but will if I give him just a little bit of anatomical guidance.This toy is perfect for partner play whether in the shower, cleaning the carpet or disinfecting the toilet; however, make sure you’re familiar with all the settings before you take it out on the town…some of the settings are louder than others, which might give your sexy little game away. My boyfriend commented that the remote is compact enough to secret away in a pocket, as well.The one downside to this toy is that we found the bullet rather hard to get out of the butterfly casing, though using some lube may help getting it in and out if you need to. All in all, I’d highly recommend this toy to anyone who enjoys prolonged teasing or orgasm control, out-of-the-box foreplay, or just fun partner hijinks in general.

Pleasure Rating (out of 5):
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

Price:
$69.99 Retail

Where I bought it:
EdenFantasys

Pros:
Remote controlled, waterproof, lots of fun settings.

Cons:
Needs a little help to get me to orgasm, hard to get the bullet in and out of the butterfly.

Summary:
The bullet fit nicely against my sweet spot, and, when turned on, had far more vibration power than I had expected. There are various settings for intensity, different patterns of vibration, and an overall fun selection of options. All in all, I’d highly recommend this toy to anyone who enjoys prolonged teasing or orgasm control, out-of-the-box foreplay, or just fun partner hijinks in general

Beaded Nipple Clamps by Spartacus

After much debating and shuffling of toy list priorities, my boyfriend and I decided to try the Beaded Nipple Clamps by Spartacus. We’d seen them around in stores and online for quite a while, and I was drawn to their sleek design, tweezer style clamping function and pretty bead embellishments. They were reasonably priced and easy to see what I was getting in the package. Also, there were three colors of the silver clamps to choose from: Red/Black, Purple/Black and Crystal/Black. I chose the Red/Black because they would go with virtually all of my lingerie, panties and shoes.I’ve used tweezer clamps before, and they are my personal preference. The simple design is wonderful because they are super quick and easy to adjust, even in the middle of some hot action or while giving (or receiving) oral. Moving the ring up the clamps increases the pressure, while sliding them down decreases it…so there’s a comfortable point for everyone, no matter what level of clamp pressure your nipples enjoy. And, if you like to kick the clamping up a notch, the soft rubber caps on the tips of the tweezers are removable to reveal tiny teeth instead, which will provide a VERY intense sensation when combined with the pressure of the clamps (not recommended for beginners to nipple play). Also, since the toys aren’t heavy, they’re well suited to wear if you’d just like some erotic breast adornment without the pinch while lounging around in sexy panties and watching a movie, or giving your partner an extra alluring lap dance. The Beaded Nipple Clamps are sexy, adjustable, super easy to use, and do the trick for me every time. To store them, I simply clamp them gently on the edge of my jewelry rack until their next time out to play. So whether you’re a nipple play newbie, or an expert who enjoys some tasty nipple torture, I’d highly recommend the Beaded Nipple Clamps by Spartacus.

Pleasure Rating (out of 5):
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

Price:
$16.99 Retail

Where I bought it:
Fascinations

Pros:
Easy to use, adjustable, pleasurable, erotic and beautiful.

Cons:
I really can't think of any.

Summary:
Whether you’re a nipple play newbie, or an expert who enjoys some tasty nipple torture, I’d highly recommend the Beaded Nipple Clamps by Spartacus. They are super quick/easy to adjust, even in the middle of some hot action.

Decadent Indulgence by California Exotic

My boyfriend and I had been considering purchasing the Decadent Indulgence Hummingbird Vibrator by California Exotic for some time. While I’ve had a Wabbit vibe for years, I’d never owned one of these new-fangled, rotating, sex-toy-of-the-future models, and wanted to try one out. However, since they are generally pretty expensive, we made sure to do lots of comparison-shopping at consumer-friendly adult stores before settling on one to buy. Of all the versions I man-, or more accurately lady-handled, the Decadent Indulgence seemed the most user-friendly of them all. So, my awesome boyfriend bought me one.After getting it out of the package and hastily ripping off my panties for a quick test-run, I found myself a little overwhelmed. It seemed quite long, and it took me a few minutes of playing with the controls to figure out exactly what my options were for using it. However, always a good sport, I lay back on the bed and went to work. The toy is shaped nicely, with a pleasurably sized head and texture from the inner ball bearings. It is a nice color, and with the sly little hummingbird on top is at once pretty and slightly cheeky. It has a great variety of vibration settings, though the more intense ones (which are weapons-grade intense) are pretty noisy. The shaft rotation feels nice, though because of the length, I wasn’t comfortable inserting it to its maximum potential; thus the back end of the rotating portion was barely nestled inside of me. However, the sensation of the movement on the outer edges of my pussy felt really great, so I’m not going to list this as a downside. The clit stimulation hummingbird is wonderfully designed; the wings vibrate against my labia, while the mischievous beak stimulates my clit intensely. I will list one downside here, though…the beak is a bit too intense for my tastes. In fact, I needed to snip off a tiny bit with a pair of scissors to make it more comfortable to use. Before I snipped him, the sensation was such that I would be close to orgasm and then have to pull it away because it was getting unpleasantly intense. However, the slight modification has made this issue obsolete.The other negative aspect to this toy, in my opinion, is that it took me a while to get used to the bulky controls and multiple options. After more use, though, it’s feeling a bit more natural to use and maneuver. It is also quite loud, so using this toy for a discreet orgasm while your partner is sleeping sweetly next to you is definitely not an option. Overall, though, I would highly recommend this dual-action vibrator to anyone who wants a feminine, effective and sensually intense toy.

Pleasure Rating (out of 5):
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

Price:
$95.99 Retail

Where I bought it:
Amazon.com (FYI: does not take returns)

Pros:
Intense, pretty, multiple settings, nicely textured


Cons:
Expensive, takes a while to get used to controls, very loud, too-intense beak


Summary:
It has a great variety of vibration settings, though the more intense ones (which are weapons-grade intense) are pretty noisy. The shaft rotation feels nice, though because of the length, I wasn’t comfortable inserting it to its maximum potential.

ID Millennium Lubricant by Westridge Laboratories

There’s not a better way to say this, so I’m just gonna say it: I love ID Millennium. I first tried out this lube when I started getting interested in ass-play, and needed something to facilitate the experimentation process. This silicone lube was highly recommended to me by a friend, and I picked some up at an adult store. ID Millennium is silicone based, which is wonderful because it’s suitable for use in the shower, bathtub, pool, or, well, even a tropical waterfall situation if that's your thing. It’s safe for non-silicone toys (will destroy silicone toys), and provides an absolutely silky sensation that never gets sticky, never dries up, and only takes a tiny bit to get, and keep, the party going. The texture is slick, velvety, quite wet, and feels very natural. There’s no unpleasant odor and virtually no taste, though I don’t advise ingesting large quantities or using it for oral sex. It’s clear, non-staining, and the lubrication really does last until you wash it off.The packaging is also well designed. It has a flip top and side grips for the fingers, so handling the bottle with super-slick fingers isn’t a disaster. However, because the lube isn’t water soluble, you may need to wash the outside of the bottle from time to time with soap and water to keep it from being permanently slippery. Also, trying to simply wipe it off your hands before touching something else won’t entirely work, I guess because this stuff is just so damn effective. Because ID Millennium only needs a few drops to work, the large bottle will last quite some time, even if you’re using it daily. However, it’s not a cheap lube, and may not be something you’re willing to spend over twenty or forty dollars for. Also on the downside, it does take actual washing with soap and water to remove the product; not just from your hands, but from all the body parts that have come in contact with it. I’ve emerged from many a shower only to find a slick spot still lingering somewhere on my skin. I would say this is not the lube of choice for quickies…just keep that in mind. Overall, I enthusiastically recommend ID Millennium, price and challenging removal notwithstanding.

Pleasure Rating (out of 5):
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

Price:
$8.99 (1 oz.), $22.49 (5 oz.), $43.99 (16 oz.) Retail

Where I bought it:
Fascinations

Pros:
Velvety, long-lasting, odorless, tasteless, waterproof, safe for non-silicone toys.

Cons:
Can be hard to wash off, price, cannot be used with silicone toys.

Summary:
ID Millennium is silicone based, which is wonderful because it’s suitable for use in the shower, bathtub, pool, or, well, even a tropical waterfall situation. It’s safe for toys, and provides an absolutely silky sensation that never gets sticky, never dries up, and only takes a tiny bit to get, and keep, the party going.

Nipple Luscious Vibrating Suction by Topco

These pretty pink vibrating nipple toys were another of my eager nipple-play purchases. They are nicely packaged, a very pretty, translucent pink color, and they seem like an ingenious design. The toys are meant to provide suction on the nipples, while also providing stimulation through vibrating nodules that contact the nipple after suction is applied. Upon trying them out, I was happy with the suction they created, and that they were easy to use. Just squeeze the soft bulb, and the toy creates enough suction to stay on the nipples, and support the vibrating mechanism as well. However, once I turned them on, I quickly realized that the ingenious design of the vibrating nubs was completely ineffectual. I couldn’t feel them at all. So, I tried applying less suction, in the hopes of allowing more space between my nipple and the little pink ticklers. This didn’t help. Finally, I tried just holding the vibrating nubs to the very tip of my nipples, without any suction, just to see what would happen. What happened? Great question….absolutely nothing. And, it should be noted, that although the vibration didn't actually perform as intended, the toys are pretty damn loud for such small devices. It was a bit distracting.All in all, I was happy with the suction, but they were a little too ungainly to stay put during active partner play. Also, the lack of vibrating results sort of made the large, not-too-flattering design seem pretty unnecessary, and I ended up feeling like I looked a bit ridiculous. Had the toy not been over thirty dollars, I might not have returned it, and simply kept it around for suction during my solo sexy-time, without turning on the vibrating portion. But I returned them so as to have more money to experiment on new and possibly better playthings. So, if you’re not concerned about the cost, these might be good for use alone; when having to worry about the toy’s bulk on your chest isn’t a hindrance or an aesthetic issue. However, overall, I would suggest trying another product first.

Pleasure Rating (out of 5):
♥ ♥

Price:
$30.99 Retail

Where I bought it:
Fascinations

Pros:
Pretty color, easy to use, provides good suction.

Cons:
Vibration doesn't work as intended, not very flattering to wear, cumbersome during partner play.

Summary:
I was happy with the suction, but they were a little too ungainly to stay put during active partner play. Also, the lack of vibrating results sort of made the large, not-too-flattering design seem pretty unnecessary, and I ended up feeling like I looked a bit ridiculous.

Hot Sex: How to Do It, by Tracey Cox

Tracey Cox’s Hot Sex: How to Do It was the very first sex book I ever bought, instead of just furtively sneaking glances at my parents’ library when they weren’t looking. I read it as any serious student would; complete with highlighter and insanely focused attention. I learned a tremendous amount from this book, which, as opposed to my parents’ Joy of Sex, was modern, sexy, and used a few four-letter words for the naughty bits.The information in this book is concisely organized and presented, and gives very practical details and advice to the aspiring sex goddess (or god). From it I learned things as varied as the proper and sexy way to give an awesome BJ (until reading this book, the then-20-year-old Lizbet had been treating a man’s shaft like a Popsicle in summer), to how to express my needs to a partner in an appropriate and expeditious fashion. While the book doesn’t contain 2,001 edgy sexual positions, it gives the reader a solid foundation upon which to build their dream house of Sexy. Cox’s writing is fun, entertaining and to the point. The book’s design is visually appealing, and is small enough to fit discreetly in a purse, back pack or briefcase. And, because it’s a soft cover, you can crack its spine to the max when you get to the especially titillating bits.On the downside? There aren’t any pictures, which may actually be a blessing for anyone who doesn’t want to have to get rid of an older book due to the photographic stylings of afro-ed and mustachioed 70s swingers engaged in mock-ecstasy. Also, if you live in a co-ed dorm, your friends are going to want to borrow your sex book…especially after you sing its praises up and down the halls. Co-eds, you are duly warned.

Pleasure Rating (out of 5):
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

Price:
$14.99 Retail

Where I bought it:
Barnes & Noble

Pros:
Concise, Well-written, Modern, Sexy.

Cons:
No pictures, No super-advanced information.

Summary:
The information in this book is concisely organized and presented, and gives very practical details and advice to the aspiring sex goddess (or god). Cox's book gives the reader a solid foundation on which to build their dream house of Sexy.

Proud Peacock Silicone Butt Plug by Sportsheets

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Nipple Suckers by California Exotic

For most of my life, I had absolutely NO sensation in my nipples. After having them ‘fixed’ by my wonderful boyfriend on the best Christmas Eve ever, we were extremely excited to play with my new-found happy buttons. Imagine how eager I was to explore a whole new category of sex toys that I had previously deemed useless to me!One of the first nipple toys we enthusiastically purchased was the Nipple Suckers. They were inexpensive and seemed straightforward and simple to use. I have used other California Exotic products, and have been happy with them. However, once we got these little black cylinders home and frantically loosed them from their cardboard prison, we were disappointed. The Suckers were made of a pretty stiff plastic/rubber material, and made it hard to get adequate suction. I only got them to stay on one time out of several dozen, and tried various methods of use to get them to work. I also considered that they needed to be broken in and loosened up before working at optimum levels, but, unfortunately, that didn’t end up being the case. I should note that intensely willing the toys to work will not accomplish the desired goal, no matter how much you want them to come out and play.Because I was able to return them, I didn’t lose out on my hard-earned $5.99; however, I did waste a significant amount of time giving these toys the benefit of the doubt. Also, the packaging was such that it didn’t provide any instructions or tips on getting the Suckers to work effectively. If one wanted intermittent suction as opposed to constant, say while playing with a partner who likes to tease, these might work for you. However, if you are looking for a nipple toy that will provide durable suction, I would recommend trying something else.

Pleasure Rating (out of 5):
♥

Price:
$5.99 Retail

Where I purchased it:
Fascinations

Pros:
Inexpensive, Simple construction.

Cons:
Doesn't provide durable suction, Toy material very stiff.

Summary:
I only got them to stay on one time out of several dozen, and tried various methods of use to get them to work. Because I was able to return them, I didn’t lose out on my hard-earned $5.99; however, I did waste a significant amount of time giving these toys the benefit of the doubt.

Waterproof Wabbit Vibe by Pipedream

The Waterproof Wabbit Vibe was my first-ever sex toy. I have since replaced the original, after it was lost in a move, because I enjoy the product so much. The vibration intensity is fully adjustable by rotating the battery cap, and is wonderful because I’m not limited to specific intensity settings. The vibration strength does vary depending on how new the batteries are in the toy; I notice that as the battery life drains, so does the maximum potential vibration. Replacing the batteries is all it takes to get me back on my way. The Wabbit is relatively quiet, and I’ve found that the noise is easily concealed under a blanket. The rabbit ears for clitoral vibration are especially great; they are large enough to provide excellent sensation, and aren’t so small that I feel like my clitoris is being teased by a weed whacker. While the shorter length and smaller girth of this toy might be a hindrance for some women, it fits me perfectly…just be aware, if you’re thinking about purchasing it, that this toy is on the small side as dildos go. The shape of the dildo portion is shaped nicely and, while not of the veiny, ultra-realistic sort, feels very natural and pleasantly textured. The Wabbit Vibe’s material has a slight fragrance, but not an offensive one. It’s waterproof, easy to clean, and really lasts the test of time (I had the first incarnation for about five years). It’s inexpensive, as combination dildo-vibrators go, especially when one considers its lifespan. It’s compact enough to store in a bedside drawer or toy case, and a bit easy to lose in the couch cushions if you don’t keep an eye on it. After many years of faithful service by the Waterproof Wabbit Vibe, I would absolutely recommend this toy!

Pleasure Rating (out of 5):
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

Price:
$25.99 Retail

Where I purchased it:
Castle Boutique and Fascinations

Pros:
Inexpensive, Durable, Adjustable Intensity, Quiet.


Cons:
For some women, may be lacking in length and/or girth.


Summary:
It’s inexpensive, especially when one considers its lifespan. It’s compact enough to store in a bedside drawer or toy case, but has a vibration intensity powerful and adjustable enough to satisfy my needs. After many years of faithful service by the Waterproof Wabbit Vibe, I would absolutely recommend this toy!